apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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