I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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