He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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