belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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