It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
