I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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