wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
