Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
