you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
