uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
