I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
