so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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