they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We talked him into tasing himself.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
