Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
