you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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