we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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