Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
