Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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