I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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