u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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