these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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