you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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