me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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