he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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