Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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