Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
