I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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