talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
