Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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