is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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