Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
