hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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