i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
