i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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