the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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