in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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