I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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