You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
