I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
