I just made out with a guy for $7.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
