I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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