well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
