Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All I want is dick and wine.
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