yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
