finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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