I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
