Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
