i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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