this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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