I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
