Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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