I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
